


Home is where the heart is

by RomanceSucker42



Category: Pocahontas (Disney 1995)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, Communication Failure, M/M, Past Abuse, Past Neglect, Period-Typical Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 05:54:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29363574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RomanceSucker42/pseuds/RomanceSucker42
Summary: Thomas was not expecting to find love in the New World.
Relationships: Kocoum/Thomas (Disney: Pocahontas)
Kudos: 27





	Home is where the heart is

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: This is a Pocahontas (1995 movie) fic with the pairing Thomas/Kocoum. One shot. I do not own anything. Enjoy!

Thomas knew it was a bad idea to follow John into the forest. It’s just, he was so, so curious about the New World that they arrived on the shores of, so when he saw John sneak away to explore a little, he couldn’t pass up the opportunity to follow the older man. He wasn’t all that proud of the fact that he was, in fact, following him instead of just exploring with him. John was Thomas’ only friend, though, and he didn’t want to crowd the man. 

Thomas hated how the others treated him, like he was a scrawny inconvenience that should stay out of there way. It didn’t help that he was scrawny and short, almost border lining flimsy and slight. His bright red hair that he tried desperately to cover with his hat and bright green eyes that made him stand out the most among his compatriots. They picked on him the most because of those facts, despite how much he tries. And he does try, with his hat and trying to work on what everyone else works on, though usually with minimal success. His every struggle is mocked and laughed at by the men, making him even more embarrassed and ashamed then he already was on a normal basis. 

John was the only one who didn’t do any of those things. He was patient with Thomas and taught him how to do things properly instead of yelling at him for doing things wrong. He looked out for Thomas which he demonstrated when he came after him when he went overboard. 

In truth, John probably wouldn’t mind if Thomas came along with him, but Thomas didn’t want to impose. The man already put up so much in regards to Thomas on a regular basis that the younger man was determined not to bother the man. He thought that if he just followed him, then he technically wouldn’t be exploring alone, which he knew would freak him out completely. That way, if he got into any trouble, then he could just call out and John would come help him. 

What he wasn’t accounting for, was losing John when they actually got into the forest. He was trying not to be too close to the older man and ended up being too far away from him, which led to losing track of him a ways into the forest. It also directly led to Thomas getting lost five minutes later and having no idea how to get back to the campsite. 

He lost track in how long he was wandering around, only noticing that it was getting late by the setting sun. He was completely freaked out and exhausted at this point. He felt like he was jumping at shadows and every rustle had him tencing even further then he already was. His anxiety was through the roof and if this kept up, he knew he was going to go into a panic attack in the middle of the forest. By the time the sun had set, he forced himself to stop and rest. He didn’t know where he was or how to get back and he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere in the dark, so he found a tree and curled up at the base of it. He didn’t realize how cold it was outside until he was curled in a ball, nor did he realize how exhausted he was until he was sitting down. Between his anxiety, panic, and trek, he was seriously wiped out. He passed out faster then he was expecting.

He jumped awake at a deliberate rustling and the sound of crunching. As soon as he registered that something was approaching, he curled even more into himself and froze in panic. Through the haze the panic settled over him, Thomas recognized that it was a person and not an animal that was approaching him. Whoever it was, though, was huge. He could really only see the outline of the hulking figure in the dark forest, but it was enough for him to recognize that it wasn’t anyone he was familiar with, meaning it must be one of the savages. Strong fear mixed in with his panic, making him hyperventilate and spiral into a panic attack. 

Thomas doesn’t have a good reputation with new people. Most of them somehow took offence to his very presence while others found him a fun toy to play with. Either way usually led to him being broken in one way or another. The stories that he had heard around camp in regards to the savages didn’t help his panic either. 

His panic was interrupted by roughly being dragged onto his feet and shoved against the tree he had been resting at the base of. It took a minute to actually get his feet under him, though, as the stranger had lifted him too high up to the point that his feet were barely touching the ground. The person eventually noticed this and lowered him enough so his feet were actually on the ground. He didn’t let go of Thomas, though, which eventually made Thomas start hyperventilating again. He flinched violently when the man shifted his weight, clearly moving a little closer to Thomas. He was close to passing out, he was hyperventilating so badly, so he completely missed that the man had frozen in his steps when he saw Thomas flinch. Thomas has no idea how long they stayed like that, but the next moment he registered was being pulled, pushed, and tugged through the dark forest. It went on like that for some time, confusing him deeply. It was a good thing that he was too freaked out about moving for him to pass out from his panic attack. 

He had no idea how long they had been moving, but eventually Thomas was pushed completely out of the forest. It was so disorientating that he fell face forward as soon as the grip was released from him. It took him a moment to realize that they were near Jamestown as the wall was very obvious from this distance. Thomas turned back to the man who brought him only to realize that the moon did illuminate his features some now that they were out of the forest. He wasn’t wrong, the man was very, very big. He was clearly one of the savages with long, dark hair and warpaint on his chest. He had a severe look on his face as he glared down at Thomas. After a while, the man gestured towards the wall and said something that Thomas didn’t understand, but he got the jist. He scrambled to his feet and started running towards the wall. He looked back a few times to notice that the man was watching him as he went to the wall. Thomas saw him disappear back into the forest right when he was about to enter the gate. 

He was just starting to get his breath back by the time he made it to his bunk. He wasn’t surprised when no one noticed that he had been gone all day. No one really noticed him at all. He blended into the background so well, many forgot he was there on a regular basis. The only time it seemed that they remembered him was to torment him. 

John was the only one to notice how distracted and jumpy he was over the next few days. He checked on Thomas several times, looking really worried for the younger man. Thomas did his best to assure the man, not wanting to tell him what happened as he still felt uncomfortable with having followed him in the first place. 

The next time that Thomas left the gates didn’t end much better than the first time. He was dragged on a hunting trip with John and Lon. Both older men were hoping the practice would help with his aim. It’s just his luck that he managed to get separated from the other two as they looked for some prey. He tried not to freak out from being separated from them as he knew they couldn’t be too far away from him. Probably at the very least within shouting distance. 

He froze when he heard a branch breaking not far from him. His breathing got really, really fast when there were several grawls that accompanied that branch braking. Thomas whirled around frantically looking around himself to see where the grawls were coming from. His stomach dropped and his entire body shook when he noticed that he was being surrounded by wolves. 

At first, when they finished surrounding him, everything was at a stand still. Then everything happened so fast, Thomas wasn’t sure exactly what happened. He quickly aimed his rifle at one of the wolves only to fall backwards when one of them launched at him, landing on top of him with his mouth chomping at his rifle that he had reflexively used as a bar to block their attack. He was able to get that one off of him and sit up a little right when another jumped on him, surprising him and biting his forearm, causing Thomas to cry out in pain. He tried to beat that one off of him with his rifle, and only managed that with minimal success before another tried to attack him. It didn’t actually manage to land on him, though, as a spear pierced it from the side, sending it off course and killing it. The next thing Thomas knows, A large man with dark hair was grappling with the wolves, killing two more with a knife before the rest scurried away. Thomas was on the ground, panting in fear, exertion, and pain as he stared at his rescuer. It took him longer than he cared to admit to realise that his savior was the same native who saved him from being lost in the forest and brought him back to Jamestown.

Both men stared at each other for a long time, neither saying anything as Thomas layed clutching his arm in pain and shaking from fear and the native glare and almost scowled at him. Eventually, the savage stocked over to him, gracefully kneeling next to him, though he paused when Thomas violently flinched away from him. The hard look the native sported seemed to get frostier at that and spoke to him in his native tongue while gesturing to his arm. Thomas had no idea what he was saying, but he eventually gathered that the word he was repeating was some word like injured or hurt.

“Oh, yes, I’m injured.” The red-head replied with a nod. He pointed to his wound and repeated the word for injured back, making the savage nod his head in agreement. Then, with more care then Thomas was used to or expecting, the man gently took Thomas’s arm to examine. He didn’t look happy with what he saw, his face going stone after that. He let go of the arm, startling Thomas at the suddenty of it and squealed when the very big, very tall man swooped Thomas into his arm. “Whoa! What are you doing? Where are you taking me?” Thomas quickly asked, clutching at the man so he wouldn’t fall. The savage didn’t respond, he just kept walking, completely ignoring his protest. “I can walk, you know.” Thomas tried but to no avail. Nothing he said seemed to work on the man.

They didn’t continue on like this for very long, thankfully. The native put him down on the roots of a very old tree before he gently took Thomas’ injured arm once more. He peeled back the ripped fabric, tearing the sleeve completely and ripping it into strips that Thomas recognised as a bandage. Then he gave Thomas a stern look and repeated a different work several times before he disappeared. Thomas figured that was the word for stay as the man came back a few minutes later with a bowl of something and some fresh plants. He actually looked pleased when he noticed that Thomas hadn’t moved. 

The next ten minutes was the strangest thing for Thomas as this completely terrifying stranger tended to his arm gently, first cleaning it then applying something that stung for a moment before it started to numb the pain then wrap the wound back up with the strips he had made earlier. The man even shoved some of the paste at Thomas to take, which he pocketed gratefully. Thomas really, really wasn’t expecting to be picked back up once more and brought back to the clearing where his gun is laid mangled with bite marks and where they could hear John and Lon calling for him. Thomas had turned his head in the direction of their calls once he was back on his feet and turned back to the man to thank him only to find that he disappeared back into the forest once more.

John and Lon found him a little further away from the clearing that had the wolf carcasses. Explaining what happened to the two worried men didn’t go over as well as he had hoped, especially when he left out the part where a native saved his life and killed several of the wolves or that the wolves were dead at all. His story ended up leaving him to be fussed over by John for days afterwards and taken out of rotation for anything to do with beyond the wall for several weeks at the very least. 

It was nice that John cared so much about him, really, but it always killed Thomas a little inside at the slightest attention the man had given him. While he knew his proclivities weren’t thought highly of back in England, he figured he could at least be honest with himself while he was in the New World. Thomas liked men. And while it wasn’t that he thought there was anything wrong with women, it just was that he wasn’t attracted to them at all. John Smith was among the finest species of men that he had seen yet, if you don’t include the mysterious naïve that keeps helping him. So Thomas has had a bit of a crush on John for a while now. It killed him a little, though, as he knew 100% that John thought of him as a little brother and nothing else. 

Things felt a little different this time, though. While John’s attention usually makes him want to melt into a pile of goo, he didn’t once feel like he was endangered of doing so as John fussed over him. Instead, he just felt warmed by the affection as his mind and heart raced to thoughts of the stranger. 

It took a solid month before his arm was completely healed and everyone was willing to let up on him a little more which led to his next terrible mistake outside the wall. It was the first day that he knew no one would try to keep an eye on him, which he took as an invitation to flee the confining walls and go for a walk. 

In the forest.

That he can’t figure out how to navigate.

Let’s just say he got lost quickly and leave it at that.

Part of Thomas was hoping to meet the strange savage that kept helping him while the other panicked about how lost he was yet again. He was walking up a hill he knew and probably should turn around, but he thought that if he could get a little higher, then he could climb a tree and figure out where he is and how to get back to Jamestown. He walked for another twenty minutes before he stopped and decided to climb one of the trees. 

He had been trying hard the last month to bulk up more, though that didn’t seem to actually work very well as his body just seemed to turn wiry instead of putting on any actual defined muscle. If only that helped his coordination or his awkwardness. He made it three quarters up the tree before his awkwardness and incoordination flared up, making him miss a sturdy branch and instead breaking another branch instead, leading to him falling. He yelled, surprised and scared, convinced that he was about to die because he fell out of a tree. 

He was deeply surprised to land in a pair of arms, though the impact had left him breathless. Thomas turned to see that it was the same strange native who kept rescuing him wearing a concerned look on his face as he peered down at Thomas.

“Thank you!” Thomas told the man once he had some breath back in his body. His fear that pulsed through him due to the fall still coursed through him and led to him shamelessly clinging to the stranger as he tried to slow his beating heart. Eventually, he realized what he was doing and tried to let go of the man, embarrassed. The man just kept looking at him, refusing to put him down. “Um, you can put me down now.” Thomas told the man with bright red cheeks from embarrassment. The man just blinked at Thomas, clearly not understanding what he was saying, but when Thomas squirmed a little, he put him back on his own two feet. They stood in front of each other for a while, making Thomas’ cheeks flame and his pulse racing just for being near the man. He was undeniably attractive, what with his broad shoulders, thick, powerful thighs, and built chest. What little blood that wasn’t filling Thomas’s cheeks was quickly heading south, much to his further embarrassment and shame. 

Kocoum.” The stranger said to Thomas with a fist taping his chest. Thomas blinked a few times, at first thinking it was just another one of his foreign words, but when the man repeated it a few times with the same gesture, Thomas suddenly understood that that was his name. He smiled involuntarily, giddiness flushing through him at knowing his strange rescuer’s name. 

“Thomas.” The red head replied with a bright smile, placing a hand on his chest. Then he placed the same hand on Kocoum’s chest. “Kocoum.” Then put the hand back on his chest. “Thomas.” The native nodded, understanding what he meant.

“Thomas.” he said, rolling the name in his mouth, testing out how it sounds on his tongue. Thomas flushes and shivers from how the native says his name. He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to steady his heart rate. When he opened his eyes again, Kocoum was much, much closer to him with a hand raised to touch his hair. Or, at least, Thomas thinks that was why his hand was raised afterwards. All he saw was a hand raised and flinched back rather violently, tripping over his feet and landing heavily on his ass in front of the native who had frozen when he flinched back. It took Thomas a minute to realize what he did, which made him start panicking and tripping over his tongue to apologies to the other man. “I’m s-sorry! I didn’t mean to-I am so so sorry!”

Kocoum carefully squatted and slowly placed his weight on his knees to get a little closer to Thomas. Slowly, he moved his hand closer to Thomas’s face, but kept pausing anytime Thomas flinched a little at the movement. Eventually, the hand landed over Thomas’s mouth, making the younger man stop talking. Kocoum raised a finger to his own lips to indicate Thomas should be quiet. When the younger man nodded his understanding, Kocoum let go of his mouth. His hand then traveled to his hat, where Kocoum pulled it off and curiously looked at his red hair. Thomas flushed again, uncomfortable and warmed at the attention he was getting. Eventually he stopped playing with his hair and moved to touch his freckles on his face, going so far as to rub at them a few times before he realized they were apart of his face. Thomas smiled shyly at the curious and slightly confused look Kocoum had during that realization. 

Their moment was interrupted by a strange voice in the air that floated in the air, making both of them look up and around as a breeze ruffled through them. “Listen to your heart, you will understand.” It said, confusing Thomas as he instinctively knew it wasn’t in english but understood it anyway. Kocoum straightened his back at listening to the words, noticeably exhaling and looking like he was at war with himself for several moments. Thomas impulsively reached out to tilt Kocoum’s chin up so they were looking at each other in the eyes. It was the first time he noticed how impossibly dark brown Kocoum’s eyes were. So dark to the point of them almost being black. Thomas wished he could understand the emotions that were swirling in them were, but he was never very good at understanding those sorts of things. Something passed between them, though, that much Thomas would swear by. It was only broken by Kocoum, who leaned back and stood up before he held out a hand to help Thomas up once more. The red-head only hesitated for a moment before taking it and allowing himself to hoist up to his feet. He squeaked once more when Kocoum lifted him into his arms once more.

“I can walk!” Thomas protested and squirmed but when Kocoum just tightened his hold on him, Thomas just settled down and held onto the warrior once more. He eventually went so far as to rest his head against the man, accidentally letting the walking motion lull him to sleep. 

It wasn’t all that surprising, actually, as Thomas hasn’t had a decent night sleep in months. It started back on the ship, when he was bunked with some of the other men. He couldn’t relax enough to sleep all that much, never feeling safe enough to do so. The few times he has slept well was when John stayed by his bed when he’s either collapsed or was injured. After the first time he collapsed due to exhaustion, he had confessed what was wrong to John in a fit of panic after everyone had made fun of him and made his life even worse than it normally was for a few weeks. John, the older brother that he has become to Thomas, calmed down the younger man and promised to help him as much as he could. Now, he checked up on Thomas’s sleeping habits every few days. 

So while it wasn’t surprising that Thomas fell asleep, it was surprising that he was able to relax enough in Kocoum’s arms to be able to fall asleep at all. He woke up confused as he was nestled in between some tree roots and the sun was much lower in the sky then it previously had been. He looked around to notice that Kocoum was not far, making some arrow or spear heads as he waited. He looked over when he heard Thomas move, standing to come closer to him, crouching next to where Thomas had sat up. 

“Thank you.” Thomas fervently told the man, who just bowed his head and said something that Thomas was pretty sure was your welcome. 

“I must go.” Kocoum told Thomas, who didn’t know why he understood that one, but knew it wasn’t in english either. He just nodded, standing up with Kocoum. 

“Thank you.” Thomas repeated with a nod.

“Thank you.” Kocuom repeated in his language. Thomas nodded and repeated in his language, getting a pleased noise out of the large native. Kocoum waved his hand in the direction behind Thomas and told him to go, which Thomas did without protest. He only passed a few more trees before he was back at Jamestown. He turned back to look at Kocoum, but found he had disappeared once more. 

Thomas just shook his head at the confusing behavior of the native as he walked back to Jamestown, a huge smile plastered on his face. 

The next time he snuck out was a few weeks later, a determined destination in his mind this time. He figured he would go back to the hill he was climbing last time he had met Kocoum and hoped he would run into the other man once more. The native has been consuming his thoughts lately, making sleep even more possible than before. He needed to see him again, if only to assure that he isn’t a phantom of his imagination. 

He walked and hiked for hours, going higher than he had previously and managing to get even more lost than he was the last time he was there. He was tired and hungry at this point, but was determined to keep looking for the native. He thought he heard a waterfall not that far ahead of him, so he walked in that direction in search of some water. He knew he was so close now as the sound was defining, but he still couldn’t see anything. Right when he thought he was about to finally get to the end of the forest part and reach the waterfall, he tripped over a tree root, making him fall forward and breaking through the forest, showing him a cliff.

A cliff he just tripped into falling off it. 

Thomas scrambled to grab anything, trying to stop his momentum so he doesn’t literally fall off a cliff. His heart was beating so fast and his breath was coming out shortly. He had just squeezed his eyes shut, convinced that he was about to fall to his death, when something solid and warm grabbed his arm and yanked him forward before switching the hold to his waist, smashing him against a solid, warm chest. Thomas clung to the chest for a moment, trying to get his breathing back under control as his panic is still making his heart race, his whole body shaking. Eventually, he pulled back enough to look up at his savior. He almost melted when he noticed it was Kocoum.

“Kocoum.” Thomas said, relieved, going back to clinging to the man, though he was trying to do so under the guise of a proper hug. Kocoum didn’t say anything, but he tightened his grip on Thomas. “Thank you.” The red-head said in the native’s tongue. He really, really, didn’t want to think what would have happened if the stoic warrior hadn’t been there. Eventually, Kocoum maneuvered them further away from the cliff, only letting go of Thomas when they were a safe distance away from it. Thomas was still shaking, though, so Kocoum cupped his cheek in order to make Thomas look at him.

“Safe.” The warrior insisted, trying to convey to Thomas that he didn’t need to be worried any more, that he was safe with him. Thomas let go of a shaky breath and nodded.

“I know. Safe.” he agreed, leaning once more into the stoic man. Kocoum, for his part, only stiffened for a moment before he hugged Thomas close to him once more. They stayed like that until Thomas stopped shaking, his heart only racing because of his proximity to the native now. He pulled back with a blush, ducking his head a little so Kocoum didn’t see so much of it (not that that worked at all). To distract himself from his embarrassing crush, he turned to the nearest thing, a tree, and said what it was. It took Kocoum a moment to understand, but eventually he replied what a tree was in his language. Thomas happily jumped into a language lesson with Kocoum, asking the man all sorts of questions on what was what. He didn’t even notice that they were moving back down the hill until a few hours later when Kocoum saw him yawn once and cut the language lesson short by picking him up. Thomas, yet again, squeaked at the movement, but didn’t protest this time, only relaxing into the hold. He made sure he didn’t fall asleep this time, though, as it was getting dark and he needed to get back. He did lose himself in the earthy scent that Kocoum had and the warmth that radiated from the man. Time stopped meaning things when he was near Kocoum, which was why he was surprised and disappointed when they stopped and Kocoum let him down. 

“Thank you.” Thomas told Kocoum shyly, looking down at the ground afterwards. He jumped a little when a hand tipped his head back up so he was looking Kocoum back in the face. Kocoum just looked at him for a moment before he let go, taking his hand and moving his and Thomas’s hand in a half circle saying something. It took a moment before Thomas finally got that this was the way his people said goodbye. The red-head smiled shyly at the warrior and repeated the gesture before they parted ways. This time, Thomas saw Kocuom stay and watch him all the way into the walled camp. 

A few days later was when things got really bad. Some of the natives must have been curious on why Kocoum kept coming by the walled city. They got a little too close to the city, however, and were spotted, much to everyone’s surprise. John was out on one of his ‘scouting trips’ while all of this happened. The whole town freaked out due to the natives' presence, immediately open firing on them. Thomas did his best to get in the way, being extra clumsy so they wouldn’t actually shoot any of the natives while they left. The whole camp was on a hair trigger for the rest of the day and a few days afterwards. Eventually, John returned to a very angry Governor Ratcliffe. 

Thomas was shocked and distressed to hear the governor wanting to invade the natives. His heart jumped at the thought of Kocoum in danger. His thoughts were racing so much, he barely heard John say that he met one of the natives. It was really, really nice to know he wasn’t the only one captivated by the natives. His heart fell to his feet when he realized just how determined Ratcliffe was in destroying the Indians here.

Thomas knew John was going to do something stupid and he wasn’t surprised at all to see him sneaking out of the city. He started to follow him, knowing that he was going to go see his native to warn them about the upcoming battle. He wasn’t disappointed either when he came across John with a female native. He stood in the shadows for long enough to know that he was planning on going to go talk to the girls’ father instead of going back to the city.

“John, have you gone mad!? You have to return to camp before the others realize you are gone.” Thomas whisper-shouted at the older man, coming out of the shadows.

“Thomas, this isn’t what it looks like.” He quickly said, putting himself in between the woman and Thomas. Thomas rolled his eyes.

“I know what this is, John. I don't blame you, but you have to get back to camp before anyone realizes you are here with her. You are going to get her killed if you go talk to her father right now.” He tried to reason with the man.

“No, It’s the right thing to do. It might stop all of this fighting.” John tried to tell him, but Thomas started shaking his head.

“Talking didn’t help the first time, what makes you think it will help this time?” Thomas desperately asked.

“I have to do this, Thomas.” John insisted, taking a threatening step closer to Thomas, his eyes burning with emotion. 

“Alright.” Thomas conceded with a swallow. “Alright, if you really think this will stop the war, then I won’t stop you.”

“Thank you, Thomas.” John replied with a relieved sigh. “Are you going to be alright getting back?” Thomas looked around and sighed, knowing he was lost again but just nodded.

“I’ll manage.” He told them, sending them off with the Indian’s farewell. 

“When I get back, you are telling me how you know that.” John told him while Thomas left. The younger man just waved his hand at them and continued back into the forest. He stopped and turned to watch them, making sure they got on their way safely. He was a little surprised that they started kissing a few moments later, but not by much. 

A lot of things happened all at once after that. Kocoum rushed out of the bushes, attacking John, probably for kissing the woman. There was rustling in the bushes on the other side of the field where Thomas saw Ben load his gun and start to aim it at Kocoum. 

“No!” Thomas yelled, running out of the bushes towards Kocoum to intercept the bullet. John had just managed to throw Kocoum off of him, pushing the large warrior away from him just when the gun went off and Thomas threw himself in front of Kocoum. The bullet hit him in the side, causing him to crumble to the ground and fall into the nearby stream. 

“Thomas!” Kocoum yelled, instantly dropping to the ground next to him, cradling Thomas to him. “Thomas! Thomas!” He kept frantically yelling. 

“Kocoum?” Thomas asked weekly, trying to focus on the warrior. 

“Thomas! Stay with me. Stay with me.” Kocoum pleaded. Thomas’s eyes dimmed too much to really understand what was going on after that. There was a point that he was being moved and he thought he saw John being restrained, but it could have been a hallucination. Pain consumed his mind for some time before he eventually, blissfully, passed out.

When he woke back up, he was in a strange tent laying on what he assumed was the native’s version of a bed. His shirt was off as was his hat and his side was bandaged tightly. No one was around, though, so he slowly sat up. That movement took a lot more out of him then he thought was possible, but he eventually managed to get himself sitting up. He put back on his shirt before he tried to stand. Standing was interesting, but less painful than sitting. It took longer than he was expecting to get his feet back under him, but he did, eventually, manage it. Thomas didn’t think he could keep this up for very long, but he wanted to see where he was. 

Thomas managed to stumble out of the tent into the sunshine and directly in the middle of the Indian’s settlement. He squinted for a moment before he got used to the sunlight and took as deep of breath as he could handle without causing himself a lot more pain. No one took notice of him, which he thought was a little strange, but decided to use that to his advantage. He walked around the tent, taking note of the river nearby and the other tents around. There were a few people milling about, he even saw kids playing. What really caught his eye was the rows of plants that looked like they were purposely planted in rows, like it was a farm. If there was anywhere that Thomas felt comfortable, it was among the crops as he grew up on a farm. 

Unconsciously, he started to wander towards the crops, enjoying the fresh air and sun shine even if he did feel himself tiring. None of the natives gave him a second glance as several of them were busy collecting the crops and tending to the plants. Thomas noticed an obviously pregnant woman trying to pick up a basket full of the crop a little further away from the other group of women. Thomas quickly headed over to her, awkwardly clearing his throat to get her attention. She jumped in fright at this appearance, making him hold up his hands in piece. 

“Safe, safe.” he quickly told her. He made a desperate gesture to convey that he wanted to help her. “Help?” he asked her, really really hoping that she would understand. By her relieved breath and nod, Thomas figured it worked. He smiled warmly at the woman and picked up the basket for her. Which, he realized, was a bad idea, but he wanted to help so he didn’t let the pain stop him. 

He helped her all the way to her destination, which ended up being a little more in the center of the village. Before he got all the way to the destination, Kocoum and several other warriors came back into the village with several animals to be skinned and preserved. Thomas stopped, mostly in pain, but also because Kocoum was here. He involuntarily smiled at the sight of him, though his face turned into a confused and concerned face when Kocoum stopped short at the sight of him. They stared at each other for a while before Thomas ducked his head a little and smiled at Kocoum. Kocoum immediately dropped the deer he was carrying and ran towards Thomas. His smile grew dimmer when he realized Kocoum looked angry. 

“Kocoum?” He asked, a little scared that he had done something wrong with how angry the stoic man looked. Thomas relieved the basket he was holding without any fuss when Kocoum took it from him. He started to frown when Kocoum still looked angry. “Kocoum?” He asked, getting a little scared now as Kocoum angrily conversed with the woman and a few more people who came over to them. Something about the way he said his name must have caught his attention as he paused looking at Thomas. “I only help.” Thomas managed stiltedly. He started to gesture to the woman and the basket. “Help.” He said, trying to get him to understand what he was doing. Kocoum sighed, looking a little exasperated at Thomas, though he clearly relaxed his tense posture. 

“You are still injured. You need rest.” Kocoum told Thomas, scolding him a little. Thomas shrugged, but hissed in pain when that pulled his already overworked wound. Kocoum’s jaw tightened and he immediately swept Thomas up into his arms. 

“Kocoum!” Thomas protested as he was swept up off his feet, but only sighed when Kocoum gave him a look. 

“Rest.” Kocoum insisted, adjusting his hold so Thomas was more comfortable. Thomas, use to this at this point, just sighed and settled into Kocoum’s arms. He ended up falling asleep there before they arrived back at any tent.

He woke up back in the same bed he first woke up in, this time when he sat up, there was someone there that came in to get him to slow down. He was handed some food and what he assumed was medicine due to the terrible smell and taste. Once the medicine, food and water was shoved down he ended up actually getting sleepy and at the urging of the person tending to him, he laid back down. Despite wanting to sleep, though, he couldn’t drop off. He felt too exposed and while the person tending to him seemed very nice, he didn’t know them. He knew Kocoum wouldn’t let anything happen to him just like he knew John wouldn’t let anything happen to him either. He was just so tired, though, and he really, really wanted to sleep. 

He forced himself onto his feet, swaying dangerously in his tired state. He doesn’t actually know how he made it out of the tent without alerting the person tending to him, but he managed to stumble his way out into the evening night. The moon was high in the sky, illuminating the village beautifully. The breeze was cooler than he was expecting, making him shiver and realize that he didn’t actually have his shirt on. He pushed the thought away, though, and decided that he was going to find Kocoum anyway. He really wanted to sleep. He managed to stumble a bit more into the middle of the village before he started to cause a stir. He noticed that several people started to come towards him, seeming shocked and concerned. Someone must have called for Kocoum, because he quickly ran out of one of the tents and sprinted over to Thomas.

“Thomas.” He said as he came up to him. He caught the red-head when he stumbled over his feet, using the momentum to pull him into a hug. “Why are you awake? What is wrong?”

“Tired. Not Safe. Safe now. Tired.” Thomas mumbled into Kocoum’s shoulder. Kocoum just sighed and picked him up once more. Thomas didn’t even react except to fall asleep moments later on Kocoum’s shoulder. 

Thomas wasn’t sure how long he was asleep for this time, but he sensed it had been for a while. He felt stiff and grimy, but he wasn’t in nearly as much pain and his head isn’t nearly as foggy as he is only just now realizing. Thomas just realized he probably has had a fever the last few days and it only just broke. He took a second to look around and melted when he saw Kocoum asleep on the floor not far from him with John sitting upright asleep not far from that as well. The woman that John was kissing came in just then, sighing in relief when she saw Thomas awake. 

“You have been asleep for several days, Thomas. Your fever only just broke last night.” She tells him quietly. 

“How long have they been like that?” Thomas asked, nodding to the two men. 

“You wouldn’t sleep and constantly kept trying to get up. You said you didn’t feel safe and kept trying to find Kocoum and John. John told us you have a difficult time sleeping unless you feel safe. Your fever was so high, it took both of them benign near for you to sleep.” She explained to him gently. Thomas winced. 

“I don’t remember that.” He confessed. 

“You were very feverish.” She told him with a kind smile. “Here, drink.” She told him, helping him take several sips of water. “John mentioned you are like a brother to him.” 

“He’s taken care of me since we departed from England. John’s the only one that has had my back or cared if I was alright. He’s the closest thing I have ever had to a brother.” Thomas confessed to her, yawning not long after. 

“Rest.” She told him simply. Thomas didn’t want to, but he slipped into sleep once more anyways. 

Thomas woke up naturally some time later with the room empty this time. Slowly, he sat up, though he was careful of his injury this time. Someone came into the room carrying a small bowl that Thomas has associated with medicine of some kind. The woman very kindly gave it to him to drink along with some water.

“Thank you.” Thomas told her politely. She gave n=him a kind, knowing smile. 

“Kocoum is hunting. He will be back soon.” She slowly tells him. 

“Thank you.” Thomas told her with now flushed cheeks. 

“Come. Up. You should wash.” She tells him, which prompts him to stand. He’s a little unsteady on his feet at first, which was why she took hold of his arm and helped him out of the tent and down to the part of the river that Thomas assumed they bathed. It was a fairly secluded area. The woman left him at the bank, heading back to the tent without another word. Thomas figured he would figure out what to do after the bath. 

He slowly undressed and carefully washes himself. The river was brisk, but it felt good to clean off the dirt and grim on his body. His clothes were taken away while he was washing, but a pair of pants from one of the natives was there in its place. He carefully put it on, grateful for something clean to ware. He was a little surprised by how comfortable they were, but figured they must be if they wore them so much. When he looked up, Kocoum was just in sight, coming closer to him. Thomas smiled brightly at seeing him and picked up his pace to get closer to Kocoum faster. 

Kocoum gently swept him into his arms in a hug before he put him back on his feet. “It is good to see you awake. You worried me.” He told Thomas. 

“Better.” Thomas replied shyly. He had no idea how he understood so much of the Indian’s language, but he wasn’t going to question it. 

“Come, your bandages need changing.” Kocoum encouraged, wrapping an arm around Thomas and leading him back to the tent he was staying. The woman, who he learned was named Nakoma, helped Kocoum clean and tend to his wound. By the end of it, the two of them managed to convince Thomas to rest for a while longer. He ended up falling asleep for most of the day and woke up just in time for the evening meal. Kocoum, John, and John’s woman, Pocahontas, came to bring him with them to dinner. Thomas wasn’t sure how that was going to go, but agreed to go with them.

He was very surprised when several people came up to him to thank him for saving Kocoum’s life. John quickly told him what he missed, which actually was a lot. It turns out that in the first few days he was out of it, the rest of the men from Jamestown had overthrown Ratcliffe and agreed a peace with the natives. They also mentioned that the Jamestown people were planning to return to England soon. Thomas noticed that Kocoum looked uncomfortable with that topic, though, so he changed it while they ate. 

Overall, it was actually a very pleasant night ending with Kocoum leading him back to his bed for the night.

Thomas’s days involved a lot of resting and sleep under John and Kocoum’s watchful eye. He started to enjoy the cold baths in the river along with the group meals. After about a week, his bed was moved to another tent that he learned was Kocoum’s. It started to get cold, though, so he moved his mat next to Kocoum’s under the guise of keeping warm. He thought the stoic man would say something about it, but instead he just started wrapping Thomas up in his arms at night, making the red-head sleep better than he ever had in his life. 

After another week or so, Thomas managed to convince everyone to let him help partially with the crops so he wasn’t completely useless. He even managed to convince Kocoum to go back on hunts as he had taken a break from that to take care of Thomas. 

Thomas was worried, though, about how distant Kocoum had started to become. It had been a month, and now that Thomas and John truly understand the native language and started to participate in the village duties, Kocoum seemed to grow more and more distant. John had mentioned at one dinner early on that the Jamestown crew would be setting sail in a few months. The closer it got to that date, Thomas started to think he should leave with them with how Kocoum was acting. 

Thomas started to question everything. He had started to open up to the people he worked with, but now he had grown silent once more, deep in thought while he worked. He worked hard, harder than he should be due to how recent his injury still is, but Thomas barely noticed that. His mind was trying to come up with ways to make himself valuable and useful to the village but also to Kocoum. Maybe he wasn’t healing fast enough? Did he read the relationship wrong with Kocoum and he actually wasn’t interested in him like that? Maybe if he tried to bulk up more than Kocoum would be more interested. Was it acceptable among warriors for a while, but expected that they would marry a woman later and Kocoum was just trying to find a way to let him down gently?

His mind spiraled for two weeks, causing his sleeping to become worse. His fear that Kocoum was just humoring him like past flings had started to cause nightmares where he would wake up and have to go for a walk to calm down. Kocoum either didn’t notice or didn’t care enough to see if he was alright as he always at least looked like he was sleeping every time Thomas had woken up. 

It was Pocahontas of all people that cornered him to find out what was going on. Kocoum had just returned from a several day trip and Thomas was not there to meet him like he usually was. Instead, Thomas was hiding in the corn crops, picking the corn. 

“Thomas, what are you doing here? Kocoum has returned, I thought you would be greeting him with the rest of the village.” She asked, concerned. Her concern deepened when Thomas flinched a little at the reminder. “Okay, that’s it. What is going on between you two?”

“I don’t know!” Thomas burst, dropping the corn husk and covering his face as tears threatened to fall from his eyes. “I don’t think Kocoum wants me anymore.” He confessed quietly as the tears fell. 

“Thomas, that’s not true.” Pocahontas insisted. “I have never seen Kocoum so frightened as when you were shot. He’s very protective of you and he constantly gets distracted if you are even within sight. Sometimes even when you aren’t in sight and only are mentioned.”

“Then why has he been so distant!?” Thomas cried, actually managing to build up to a sob as he really started to cry. “Nothing I do is working, if anything, he’s more distant than ever! It’s been going on for weeks, Pocahontas! I don’t think I can handle the waiting anymore. If he wants to see me, then he can come find me himself.” He told her, returning to the corn as he silently kept crying.

“Thomas, Kocoum loves you.” She told him quietly, effectively stilling his movements. “Have either of you talked about what you are going to do once your kin are ready to set sail?” She asked him, surprising and confusing him by the change of topic. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” He asked, trying desperately to rain in the crying. 

“Kocoum isn’t much of a man of words.” Pocahontas told him a little riley, but also softly. “He loves you, but he would never make you choose him over your family, your kin.” Thomas’s mind whirled at that information. He honestly thought it was a given that he was staying, but apparently not. Pocahontas, the angel she was, saw his mind racing and gently just told him to think on it before she left him to his thoughts. 

His thoughts were racing even faster now, though, as he re-analyzed the last few weeks with Kocoum. He remembered how stiff and upset the stoic man became whenever the Jamestown folk’s departure was mentioned or whenever England was brought up. He also realized that he remembered Kocoum arguing with John about something, him looking resigned about something as John seemed to be trying to talk him out of something. He had brushed it off, though, as those two are seen arguing over many things, most of the time about either Pocahontas or Thomas. 

Thomas ended up abandoning his basket to sit against one of the stocks as he thought about all of this. His tears mostly dried up as well in his thoughts as he started to get angry at Kocoum for his self-sacrificing idiocy. His anger grew so much that he actually stood and marched back into the village in search of Kocoum to give him a piece of his mind. He found the stoic warrior in another argument with John and Pocahontas this time. All three of them stopped talking the second they saw Thomas angrily stock over to them. 

“You!” Thomas exclaimed angrily in the native tongue he was now mostly fluent in. Kocoum wisely started to make a few steps backwards to maintain some space between him and an angry Thomas.

“Thomas.” He replied gently, raising his hands in a placating gesture. It didn’t help, though, as Thomas ran full tilt and tried to throw a punch at Kocoum. The stoic warrior saw it coming, though, and quickly dodged then grabbed Thomas by the waist to steady him as he tripped over his own feet and was about to crash to the ground if he hadn’t been steadied. Kocoum wisely let go after he was back on his feet, though, as Thomas was still very angry.

“You have been distant for weeks! Because of what? That I have a choice to either stay here or go back to England?” Thomas yelled at the man, who managed to get even more stoic by the topic.

“Your choice to stay or go should not be influenced by my presence.” He told the red-head calmly.

“Bullshit!” Thomas raged. “I’m in love with you, you idiot! Of course my decision is influenced by you! I thought you were finished with me and that was why you were so distant! It’s the only reason I’ve even considered going back to England in the first place! Because I thought you didn’t want me anymore!” Kocoum looked devastated by this information.

“Of course I want you, Thomas. I love you!” He confessed to the other man, stopping closer to Thomas until he was right in front of him. “Your family is in England and I did not want you to stay when they are so important to you. You speak of your sister often, Thomas. It was a difficult decision that I did not want to add a burden to. I never meant to make you feel like I didn’t want you. I will always want you, I love you.” Thomas flung himself at Kocoum at that answer, hugging him hard.

“I might miss my sister, but she will grow up in a better circumstance than I ever was in. I have never been accepted into anywhere before I came here and I am accepted here. My decision was made the second time I met you. I would rather live here, with you, then ever set foot back in England, not even to see my sister. I need you, she does not need me.” Thomas told Kocoum seriously as he clung to him. Kocoum tightened his hug for a moment before he froze and quickly pushed Thomas back so they were looking at each other.

“You are staying?” The stoic man asked, his voice trembling slightly as he asked.

“Yes, Kocoum. I am staying.” Thomas confirmed. He only squeaked a little bit when Kocoum suddenly crashed their mouths together into a bruising kiss. It turned a little slower soon after, passion and lust suddenly spiking through both of them as it continued. 

“Finally!” John said behind them, breaking the two of their kiss to look at him. “It’s about time the two of you came to your senses. Everyone else in the village was concerned you two would never see what you two have.” 

“What he means is, congratulations.” Pocahontas told them, taking John’s arm and dragging him away from them.

“Will you stay with me?” Kocoum asked formally, holding out his hand in invitation.

“As long as you stay with me.” Thomas replied with a very wide smile, taking Kocoum’s hand. They disappeared back into their tent for the rest of the night.


End file.
